Hmmm. I'd say it's a false victory but if it helps him feel a little better, that's at least a brief comfort for him. I'm pleased he can find some solace in sex, even if it's solo sex. Also feels symbolic, like a fuck-off to the enemy, especially as he's defying their taunts of being a pervert. If there's a victory, it's that.
Maybe this is deliberate or maybe it's just how the book evolved, but I feel in addition to the core story of a man with the torturous experience of hearing voices (and reasonably responding with paranoia), there's a theme of sex and how it relates to our sense of identity. Sex and desire are continually and from the onset, attacked as dirty by the 'voices' but we know that the voices are coming from Alex's head, so what does that say about his subconscious beliefs or fears or insecurities?
Generally I enjoy the approach to writing about sex that you take in your book. I once heard in a workshop that one of the rules about sex writing is that it should always be beautiful. Maybe that works for some genres but for broader literature I disagree. You write about sex in a brutally honest way. And sometimes readers want to connect with reality, not with fantasy. Alex is fantasizing as he touches himself, as one does, and it's fucking realistic.
Michael McMillan's essay 'Revisiting James Baldwin', from a book on American 'banned lists', 'Encounters with James Baldwin', uses this quote as it draws to a close, 'I want to be an honest man and a good writer.'
I got a bit sidetracked by your beautiful article about my book last week, but I want to respond to this!
Yes, I remember that after the first draft it was very clear that sex was not just another awkward thing for him, but an important seed crystal in his problem. Sex represents the imposition of oneself upon another, the acceptance of another person, in ways that have no analogue.
I've got lots more to say about that, but I can't get too far in the weeds.
I'm humbled by your mention of Baldwin, who is an inspiration in the realm of shame/sex writing.
Despite being a good reader in general, I was a terrible reader of school-assigned books and faked my way through a number of them. Giovanni's Room was short enough that in the days leading up to our final test I decided to read it, and spent the whole book deeply sympathizing with the shame and self-loathing in the book, except my shame and self-loathing were from not doing the book the justice of reading it slowly. It's one of the few times I remember thinking, "Books can be like this?" It's a devastating book, and in the four years spent writing mine, I wanted to revisit Giovanni's Room, but avoided it for fear of its influence looming too large. In that time I did read The Fire Next Time and his debut Go Tell It On the Mountain, which are both powerful, but Giovanni's Room will always be THE ONE for me. My cheek is still red from the slap it gave me back in high school.
Incredible! What a wild ride. Thank you for sharing your experiences.
You've come in at a rare high point on this roller coaster, haha. Thank you for reading!
Hmmm. I'd say it's a false victory but if it helps him feel a little better, that's at least a brief comfort for him. I'm pleased he can find some solace in sex, even if it's solo sex. Also feels symbolic, like a fuck-off to the enemy, especially as he's defying their taunts of being a pervert. If there's a victory, it's that.
Maybe this is deliberate or maybe it's just how the book evolved, but I feel in addition to the core story of a man with the torturous experience of hearing voices (and reasonably responding with paranoia), there's a theme of sex and how it relates to our sense of identity. Sex and desire are continually and from the onset, attacked as dirty by the 'voices' but we know that the voices are coming from Alex's head, so what does that say about his subconscious beliefs or fears or insecurities?
Generally I enjoy the approach to writing about sex that you take in your book. I once heard in a workshop that one of the rules about sex writing is that it should always be beautiful. Maybe that works for some genres but for broader literature I disagree. You write about sex in a brutally honest way. And sometimes readers want to connect with reality, not with fantasy. Alex is fantasizing as he touches himself, as one does, and it's fucking realistic.
Michael McMillan's essay 'Revisiting James Baldwin', from a book on American 'banned lists', 'Encounters with James Baldwin', uses this quote as it draws to a close, 'I want to be an honest man and a good writer.'
I got a bit sidetracked by your beautiful article about my book last week, but I want to respond to this!
Yes, I remember that after the first draft it was very clear that sex was not just another awkward thing for him, but an important seed crystal in his problem. Sex represents the imposition of oneself upon another, the acceptance of another person, in ways that have no analogue.
I've got lots more to say about that, but I can't get too far in the weeds.
I'm humbled by your mention of Baldwin, who is an inspiration in the realm of shame/sex writing.
Despite being a good reader in general, I was a terrible reader of school-assigned books and faked my way through a number of them. Giovanni's Room was short enough that in the days leading up to our final test I decided to read it, and spent the whole book deeply sympathizing with the shame and self-loathing in the book, except my shame and self-loathing were from not doing the book the justice of reading it slowly. It's one of the few times I remember thinking, "Books can be like this?" It's a devastating book, and in the four years spent writing mine, I wanted to revisit Giovanni's Room, but avoided it for fear of its influence looming too large. In that time I did read The Fire Next Time and his debut Go Tell It On the Mountain, which are both powerful, but Giovanni's Room will always be THE ONE for me. My cheek is still red from the slap it gave me back in high school.
wow, I love how this has segued into a conversation about Baldwin! Interested as to how the sexual theme will progress as we go along …
You started it!
And, well, you’ll see…